Ian McConnell

We open on Ian (he/him), a recovering gifted child desperately attempting to hang on to his mid-twenties, in the waning months of the worst pandemic since everyone’s favorite American president, Warren G. Harding, took office. All things considered, Ian has emerged from said pandemic relatively unscathed! Sure, his social circles have eroded immensely, and he’s become deeply disillusioned with the American political system, and he’s picked up a mildly compulsive marijuana habit, AND he’s come to associate self-worth with internet popularity, but he and his loved ones are healthy, financially stable, and (presumably) do not subscribe to any overtly dangerous conspiracy theories, so we’ll call that a win. A singer-songwriter by day, goofy social media personality of moderate notoriety by (also) day, and sleepyhead by night, Ian has been referred to by kind usernamed strangers as “Kroger-brand Ed Sheeran,” “sexy Kermit The Frog,” and “a stupid piece of shit.” But as accurate as these labels are, they fail to answer fully the tied-for-number-one-most-Googled question of 1939, “Who IS Ian McConnell?”

Ian has himself been searching for the answer to this question for quite some time, and has instead come away with an ever-growing list of who he is NOT. He has spent much of the last few years attempting to be a country musician – a hilarious undertaking (in hindsight) for a suburban-DC math/cello major with no rural life experience – but has now abandoned that endeavor for reasons obvious to anyone who has read this sentence. His once-staunch faith in the Christian tradition has been shaken to the point of non-existence. His belief that he is a logical person has been decimated by his own highly irrational behavior surrounding his romantic relationships. And the list goes on, bringing us to the present, with Ian’s identity in relative shambles. He’s not unhappy – in fact, he’s generally optimistic, and finds the absurdity and pretentiousness of his own self-realization quite funny. But in many ways, Ian feels like he is starting from scratch.

At this point, Ian is tired of writing about himself in the third person, and believes that you, dear reader, have enough context to enjoy Season 1. May you feel seen, but not TOO seen; heard, but not TOO heard; smelled, but not TOO smelled (what?); and buy his merch once you’ve finished so he can afford to skedaddle over to the gyro place across the street for a lil lunchtime treat.

XOXO - Ian